I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
