remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize