oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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