I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
