your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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