he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
