what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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