Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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