so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
