Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
