I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
