Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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