you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Someone came in the potted fern
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
