Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
