YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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