I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
