thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize