Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
