do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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