She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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