i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
