Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
