Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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