I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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