beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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