the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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