Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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