I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
