We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
