Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize