Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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