I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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