i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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