I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
