I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
