I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize