im drinking this country out of the recession.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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