ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
