Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
