wrigley field is MILF paradise
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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