I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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