He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
