I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
