so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
