How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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