your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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