yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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