Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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