This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
