Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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