im drinking this country out of the recession.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
