Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
