also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
