Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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