Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
