Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just sucked dick on a ferry
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
