Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize