You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
