He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
40s are totally the cure
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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