woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
